The Morning After and other regrets

I woke up this morning hungover. Surprised? Me either. Noelani's asleep still. Breakfast is the most important decision you'll make during the first, unbelieveably painful three or four hours of consciousness after an all-night-can't-remember-a-thing bender. You have to tread carefully so as not to tip your personal balance in the direction of physical illness, but you also have to regenerate some of your seriously depleted stores of nutrients. So you should eat a healthy, well-balanced meal. Except if you had a French potluck the night before and the only thing left in the house aside from 12 empty bottles of wine is half of a plantain. Then you eat the plantain and you like it.

You Will Need:

1 Plantain
Olive Oil

To Make:

Peel the plantain. Slice it in six or seven thick wedges; you want to leave a lot of flesh in each slice so that the final product is chewy on the inside/crunchy on the outside. (The same blueprint applies to the perfect french fry.) Thoroughly heat the oil in the frying pan, then toss in the slices. If you've done it right, you'll hear a lot of sizzling at this point. Let the plantains fry until they are nice and golden brown on each edge. They'll turn a healthy, Simpsons yellow right before they deepen into the perfect brown crisp. Let them cool a little, but make sure to eat them still warm.